Carrie: “Everything that he ever said that I interpreted as sincere is subject to interpretation, and in that case what I perceive as his feelings for me may only be reflected projections of my feelings for him.”
Miranda: “What?”
And, here we have Sex and the City. This particular scene is from Season 1, Episode 7, The Monogamists, and Carrie and Miranda are sitting at an outdoor restaurant while Carrie dissects what is going on in the early days of her burgeoning relationship with Big. In anticipation of the second SATC movie coming out in the spring, I have decided to write about, in the coming weeks, one episode, chosen at random, from each of the six seasons. Each synopsis/review will include my observations as well as the opinions of my closest SATC buddies (who very graciously agreed to help me out with this project!), in this case SM and EM.
First of all, I should describe a little bit of what’s going on in this episode. As I mentioned, Carrie is trying to figure out where she is in her relationship with Big – i.e. are they exclusive or not? This is the central storyline, and not much happens with Samantha, Charlotte, or Miranda, other than Samantha is looking for a new apartment and gets caught in flagrante but somehow still manages to pull off being haughty, not embarrassed, at being intruded upon, Charlotte is dating a man who has a rather annoying, um, oral fixation, and Miranda runs into Skipper with another woman and is suddenly interested in him – again. (By the way, what ever happened to Skipper? He seemed like Carrie’s good friend in the early episodes, but then after a while we just never see him again…).
Besides Skipper, there are actually quite a few things that happen in this episode that you never see later on when the series becomes more sophisticated and, obviously, popular. Case (s) in point: (1) Carrie and Big walking down the street arm in arm, with their arms around each other, kissing, etc. That would never happen in Season 6 or the first movie, and seems almost tacky here. Their relationship has obviously always been passionate, but to the point of being lovey-dovey on the street? So not Carrie and Big! (2) Near the beginning of the episode, to switch between scenes, a heart-shape explodes on the screen. Do I need to say any more about that?! (3) Carrie is still talking to the camera. I think that disappears either after Season 1 or sometime into Season 2. It’s just not needed as the series goes on because we know the characters by then and don’t need their actions explained to us. (4) The interviews with Carrie’s research subjects. Are these to make clear the job Carrie has? I think these also completely disappear after the first season, and I’m glad they do! (5) Samantha’s hair has way too much contrast between her dark roots and the blonde that her hair is supposed to be. Eek! (6) Charlotte’s makeup is too dark. And her hair is too short for her face shape – it looks like a half-moon! In later episodes, Charlotte’s makeup and hair always look perfect and nothing like they do in this episode. (7) Miranda is dressed in such a manly way. In the first season, her short hair and bona fide masculine look (ties, suits, baggy pants, etc.) are unflattering, but, again, I think this is a character reinforcement thing to portray Miranda’s personality.
SM actually didn’t have anything flattering to say about the fashion in this episode, and commented, “What the hell are they all wearing?” “There isn’t even a nice bag in this episode,” “I love how both Skipper and Jared’s clothes bring me back to high school. Skipper looks like he’s been shopping at Bluenotes or Randy River!” and “I have nothing good to say about a single thing anyone was wearing head-to-toe in this episode.” EM agreed for the most part, and said, “I didn’t find the fashion to be particularly striking in this episode, but I did love the yellow vintage dress Carrie had on when she met up with Stanford. So yellow, so vintage, so want!” I also want the yellow vintage dress, as well as the colour-blocked red, yellow, and black oversized clutch Carrie has when she meets up with the girls after ignoring them for weeks in favour of spending time with Big.
Which brings up my next point. When Miranda calls Carrie at the beginning of the episode to rib her for being so unavailable, Carrie realizes her friendship faux pas and remarks, “I’ve become one of those women we hate.” I agree that she has, but yet, when you have a boyfriend or husband, how does anyone not, at one point or another, become “one of those women we hate”? I think it’s inevitable, no matter how much your girlfriends grumble about you behind your back! I suppose the key is to not be a “woman we hate” for your entire relationship life. That, as SM says, “is beyond annoying.” EM makes a good point, though, when she chose to mention the power of female friendship in this instance by saying, “Isn’t it great when you have friends who you have forsaken for weeks for your new boyfriend and your ‘vows of friendship’ can be renewed after a single dinner?”
Those very vows of friendship are demonstrated even more strongly after the girls are finished their reunification dinner and on the way out of the restaurant notice Big at a table with another woman. The immediate outrage of Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte is hilarious and so true to life! I love the look Samantha gives the two other girls as they hear Carrie ask to speak to Big privately. It’s something like, “Oh, here we go. What could he possibly say to get out of this one?” And then, when Carrie finally says a rather angry goodbye to Big, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte mutter among themselves, “Here we go” as Carrie approaches them with an exasperated “I can’t believe he’s seeing other women.” Samantha’s response is a classic and loyal female friend response: “Prick.” SM identified with that part as well, saying, “I love Samantha’s dedication to her friends, when she says ‘Prick!” without even really knowing a full story, just immediate support and loathing!”
And this brings us back to the opening quote of this post, with Carrie trying to analyze with Miranda where her relationship with Big stands. Apparently they’re not monogamous, so what are they? Does he like her as much as she likes him? To take from an episode much later in the series: “And here come the questions!” Here is Carrie’s quote again:
Carrie: “Everything that he ever said that I interpreted as sincere is subject to interpretation, and in that case what I perceive as his feelings for me may only be reflected projections of my feelings for him.”
Miranda: “What?”
Haha! We women recognize what we’re doing when we say things like this, but yet we go over them again and again. As EM said, “I loved how Carrie opted to talk to Miranda rather than Big and their conversation where Carrie comes to the conclusion that everything Big has ever said that she had interpreted as sincere was open to interpretation and would have to be reanalyzed. Classic female behaviour, both talking to your friends rather than your partner and overanalyzing with said friends! Why do women do this? It can never result in anything good. It makes our female brains go berserk with our emotions and throw logic out the window so we’re storming out of parties, flirting with obnoxious men, and drunk-dialing our boyfriends, fishing for a bold gesture of undying, jealous devotion.” SM agrees, saying, “Why do we do that to ourselves? Try to figure out the underlying possible meaning of every little thing men say…turns out most of the time there really is no underlying meaning!”
Does this sound familiar to any of you? Haha!
Another typical female reaction is observed in the outdoor dinner scene with Carrie and Miranda, when Skipper walks by with another woman on his arm. Of course, Miranda had broken up with Skipper a few episodes earlier, but as soon as Skipper and his new woman (who, by the way, works at Vogue, just another little knife-in-the-heart, irritating detail) walk away, Miranda exclaims, “Who was that self-important bitch? I didn’t think that was his type.” I have a variation on this loving sentiment from many a girlfriend who saw or found out something about an ex and his new girlfriend. Women!
Carrying on (no pun intended), Carrie and Big later go to a party together, where Big’s apparent disloyalty to Carrie is rather brutally shoved in her face. A sexy, slinky woman lingers on Big’s arm as she says, “You still have my passport,” one of Big’s friends mistakes Carrie for a past date of Big’s, Julia – and from there it just gets worse and worse until Carrie leaves alone and goes to meet Stanford at party for the “3o most fabulous people under 30″ in the city. Angry and disillusioned, Carrie is acting indifferent and reckless, and when Stanford asks what went wrong with Big, Carrie answers, “He became predictable,” to which Stanford replies, “How predictable.”
Carrie then spends the rest of her time at the party with an author named Jared, who was introduced earlier in the episode as an acquaintance of Stanford’s. He’s really into Carrie, and seems even more so when Carrie calls him an “utter asshole” to which SM points out, “Why is it that some men love it when women are bitches to them? Is it because they know that usually women are only bitchy, even if it’s just slightly being a smart ass, when they aren’t all that interested? Do they see it as an extra challenge?” I don’t know. Men, what say you?
Carrie’s blase behaviour continues, and turns ugly, as after Jared asks her to go home with him, she steps away to phone Big and says the following:
Carrie: “I just want to let you know I’m at this very cool party for very cool people under 30 and this very cool novelist wants to take me home…his name’s Jared and he’s really cute and really successful and he just put his arms around me. Here, say ‘hello,’ Jared.”
Jared (into phone): “Hello, Jared.”
Carrie: “That was Jared.”
Pretty reprehensible, don’t you think? I think most men would just hang up after that exchange and to hell with Carrie and Jared! But, Big doesn’t hang up and says he will come and meet Carrie. She agrees, and ends up waiting for him for 45 minutes because of more miscommunication between them in determining what was the street entrance and what was the front entrance of the bar Carrie was at. When Big finally discovers where Carrie is waiting for him, he argues that the street entrance is the front entrance. Carrie, not willing to concede defeat, decides to still be contrary and replies, “Depending on where you’re coming from.” More strange yet familiar female habits abound – passive-aggressive, vague answers whose only purpose is to be annoying and to irritate the men who are irritating us women!
Big has an inhuman amount of patience, however, and hears Carrie out about why she has been going crazy since the discovery that he was dating other women while still seeing (and sleeping with) her. Carrie explains that she’s sick of the runaround and just wants “someone to stand still with.” In other words, Carrie wants to be a “monagamist.” The episode ends without Big saying anything back, but instead putting his arm around Carrie as they stand still together. Carrie looks happy when he does this, which I suppose means his gesture was symbolic in terms of what she wanted. But, as we later find out, his lack of words spoke volumes because Carrie breaks up with him at the end of Season 1 due to what she feels is a lack of true intimacy between them. Big just won’t “let her in.”
EM’s opinion on the problem is summed up as such: “Ultimately, monogamy is a broad concept and everyone seems to have their own definition of what it means to them…the cardinal rule of a healthy relationship is communication, and it certainly applies to our individual definitions of monogamy. Whether it be Carrie’s “standing still for a while” or Charlotte’s “the one,” communicating with your partner about what monogamy means to you is a healthy step everyone should take early in a relationship.”
And thus, the conclusion of the first instalment of Dear Sex and the City… Next up, Season 2, Episode 15, Shortcomings.
